Recently one of my clients accused me of eating healthy all the time. Clearly, she has not been stalking me. If she had, she would have realized that - as she accused me of staving off indulgences - I stood opposite her with a savory treat from Umami Burger (850 South LaBrea, Los Angeles, CA 90036) making its way through my small intestine. I got their signature burger: sirloin cooked medium rare with roasted tomato, shitake mushroom, and a parmesan crisp wedged in between a perfectly sweet, soft-on-the-inside-crispy-on-the-outside bun (that I'm pretty confident) descended from heaven.
I could have lied. I could have nodded and smiled, flexed my abs, and told her I swear by Yoplait and think Bob Greene is a God. But that would have been a bold-faced bag of trash. The one time I tried a diet (The Fat Flush by Ann Louise Gittleman) I got shingles. I'm not lying. I broke out in this strange rash (on only one side of my body - that's how it works...cheers!) whilst guzzling the "Long Life Cocktail" (a cleansing tonic which involves flax meal and cranberry concentrate) and shoveling various vitamins and minerals in my face. Perhaps it was a coincidence. Maybe ye olde Fat Flush didn't give me the shingles... Maybe Barack Obama isn't hung like a moose? Who's to say? Alls I know is: I've been faring a lot better since I embraced my Grandpa's favorite adage: Everything in moderation - even moderation.
I have set aside the ways of many a fitness crazer and continued on my own food foot path...one that involves meat, cheese, bread, alcohol, caffeine and the occasional recreational drug. I think it's good for us...all of it.
That AND I'm pretty much starving all the time. I use my body a lot. I run around a lot. I teach group fitness classes which is like being in a musical and trying to get the audience to do it with you. I love it - don't get me wrong - but I burn some serious calories. Way more than I ever did working sixty hours a week in an office (which almost killed me - worse than the Fat Flush...seriously). Now I work concentrated hours pouring my energy into people, workouts, and the occasional machine (which, I realize, makes me sound like a chronic masturbator addicted to her Hitachi Magic Wand but I was thinking more along the lines of a treadmill in this case). I need food. My mother says she eats to live. I think, at this stage in my life, I may have crossed over...and now: I live to eat.
Run don't walk!
UMAMI BURGER
850 South LaBrea Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90036
HOURS: 11am - 10pm, Monday - Sunday
www.umamiburger.com
Final word: it's all about the burgers. Sides were a little weak in comparison to the rockin' burger, the Mexican Coca Cola, and the Cake Monkey sweet treats.
it should be called YUMami burger!
ReplyDeletethis was great fun to read.
i am pretty sure that this is my 15 minutes of fame (i'm the client, right?)
cj